“You would be the OLDEST patient I have ever done this surgery on.” Let me tell you, I felt pretty silly when I heard these words just yesterday (and why did he have to put such emphasis on the word oldest?). I digress from food today for a quick little story that perhaps a few of you will find as amusing as I did (but, a cheap snack recipe is on the horizon for tomorrow!).
About a year ago, I went to a standard doctor appointment that started out like this:
Doctor: “Stick out your tongue.”
Doctor: “No, I said stick out your tongue.”
Me: (with depresser stick on my tongue) “I amb.”
Doctor: “What? Wait a minute, lift up your tongue.”
Me: (struggling to lift up tongue)
Doctor: “My goodness, you’re tongue-tied. Why didn’t they fix that when you were an infant?”
Me: “You mean it can be fixed?” (yeah, I sounded that dumb)
Fast forward a year, after another doctor noticed my tongue-tied status, and gave me a referral to an ear, nose and throat doctor to get it “fixed.”
ENT Doctor: “Why are you here again?”
Me: “I was told that I am tongue-tied and that it can be fixed.”
ENT Doctor: (laughs – always a confidence booster) “Well, let’s take a look, but if it were really severe, you would have a speech impediment, which you certainly don’t have. (snickers again with disbelief) You would be the OLDEST patient I have ever done this surgery on.”
ENT Doctor: (looks in my mouth) “I’m impressed. Why don’t you have a speech impediment?”
Me: “I had one when I was a kid…”
ENT Doctor: “… but you learned to compensate.”
Me: “Yeah, I guess so” (not mentioning the part about Cindy Brady as my mentor)
Long story, medium-lengthed, nestled at the bottom of my mouth, sits my tongue, with irritation spots all around the perimeter (that don’t feel good btw and always irritate when I eat citrus) from where it rubs against my teeth. Apparently, since my tongue is also full developed, that little attachment has grown quite thick, and it is a bit more of a “procedure” (vs the quick snip on infants and toddlers), but the doctor has assured me (to his own surprise) that this is definitely worth doing.
So all of you moms out there, do a little spot check for me; make sure your little one can roll their r’s before they too get a B- in Spanish class simply for their poor pronunciation.
In the mean time, I am helping this local ear, nose and throat doc go down in the record books for performing that minor tongue-tied procedure on a totally embarrassed, thirty-something patient!